thinking ahead to beyond midnight, a half hour before it dawns

Today, I shall be divorced. The word itself begs the question:
From what? My wife and I separated a long time ago now.
We are already divorced in all but name. Without ever going
Through the stages. One minute we were drinking and laughing.
The next we were done. I shall be divorced from my wife,
But I fear I shall be divorced from more than that which has
Already come to pass. Divorced from the land of dreams?
Some would say I did this then, the moment I betrayed a
Marriage vow I never took. I don’t believe so. Which in itself
Was enough to precipitate divorce. Whatever it might prove
To be, and as the unmade bed of words suggests, 'it' has
Slipped my neat parameters, I know that 'it', the it from which
I shall be divorced today, has left me lacking, has left me
Sadder than I wanted to have been left, has left me more
Stupid and more wise than I had hoped I should need to be,
Come this point in my waking, my thinking, my bed-making.

23.39 GMT

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