28.1.13

rites of passage



We had spent nearly three months lost in the Sahara. Our initial plan had been to
cross from East to West, using Sorenʼs house in Tenerife as our launch pad. We
flew from there to Marrakech. Things started to go wrong almost immediately. We
travelled to Erg Chebbi on the edge of the Sahara, the gateway to the real desert,
where we were due to meet up with Rashid, our guide. He never showed up. The
local guides made their living from helping tourists disembark from their four by
fours and transfer to a camel train which took them half an hour into the desert,
where groups of Canadians, Australians and North Americans would sing songs
round an open fire and eat couscous and satisfy their lust for adventure. None of
these guides were interested in a group of five crazies who actually planned to
enter their desert. The expedition was only rescued from disaster when a Berber
who was heading towards the Algerian border to hook up with his tribe agreed to
let us tag along.

The succession of wrong turns, near-death experiences and mirages (both
physical and psychological) that occurred over the course of the following ten
weeks have been detailed in my travelogue, Lost in a Sea of Sand, which you
may well have read. This isnʼt the place to repeat any of that. Suffice it to say that
when we finally escaped from the desert and arrived at Timbuktu, it seemed like  
a dream. Each one of us had forgotten what a world containing buildings looked
like, had forgotten that a world where man could exercise some kind of
ascendancy over nature (and sand) existed.

Timbuktu is an ancient city, with an extensive and highly developed cultural
heritage. None of us had the slightest interest in this. All we cared about was
having a proper shower, not having to sleep in a tent, and being able to get out of
the sun. These are the things that matter after youʼve spent the best part of three
months trying to stay alive in the Sahara. When Pav came back after going out to
have a look around and told us sheʼd found a Welshman in the library, no-one
was impressed. It was only when she added that he was a Welshman with a
generator, a fridge and a seemingly limitless supply of cold beer, that our
curiosity was aroused. 

His name was Liam and he told us heʼd lived there for almost ten years. He had
originally come as part of a project which intended to catalogue the library of
Abdarahman Sidi Idie, initiated by an organisation heʼd worked for which he
grandly claimed was a depositary for all the stories in the world. The job had
taken longer than anticipated. After a couple of years the funds had run out, and
his colleagues had returned to Europe, but Liam had fallen in love with the city,
its libraries, and their stories, and had chosen to stay.
    
I asked where the beers came from. He told me they were made from barley
stewed in fermented camel milk. Back home Iʼd have probably spat out the sip Iʼd
just taken, but under the circumstances even camel-piss fermented beer would
have tasted just fine.

It turned into a crazy night. The alcohol went to everyoneʼs heads. The energy
weʼd been using just to survive was no longer needed for that purpose. We
suddenly had a surplus. It affected us all in different ways. Pav and Soren finally
had sex, after weeks of pretending they werenʼt really interested. Those seven
days in Timbuktu, drinking Liamʼs beer, waking up hungover then drinking some
more, was one of the best weeks of our lives. None of this is in the book,
because itʼs personal, and even though the publishers begged me to make the
book a bit juicier, I didnʼt think it was appropriate. Thereʼs a big difference
between your public life and your private life, and you have to respect that.

It was also under the influence of Liamʼs beer that I found myself walking into a
mosque for the first time in my life. Of course, Iʼd visited mosques before, as a
tourist, but this time it wasnʼt like that. I guess that whilst the others used up all
that surplus energy being physical, I used that surplus energy and applied it to
the spiritual side of things. It was the first time I realised what it meant to be in a
holy place. As I sat on the floor, watching people chat or pray, with no one
seeming to bat an eyelash at this westerner sharing their sacred space, I
experienced what I can only call, no matter how corny it sounds, a sense of
transcendental relief. There and then, God came to find me. I knew straightaway
the part he had played in our salvation, as well as realising that it would always
be, from now on, so much better now that I was aware of his presence, by my
side, to guide me through all the journeys I had yet to make.

Of course, none of this is in the book either. My publishers like to play me up as
some kind of macho figurehead, always going on crazy adventures, challenging
the boundaries, as it says on the back of all my books. I canʼt complain. My
image is my fortune, and without it, I wouldnʼt be able to do the things I feel I
have to do in this world, no matter how self-serving and absurd they sometimes
seem. My public doesnʼt need to know the truth about my relationship with God.
Not yet. One day soon, I shall tell them. Or God will reveal it. But for now, they
wouldnʼt be ready for it, and I have to assume that heʼs OK with that, otherwise
heʼd do something about it.


2010


+++ 

24.1.13

neruda on cortazar

"Anyone who doesnt read Cortázar is doomed. Not to read him is a grave invisible disease which in time can have terrible consequences. Something similar to a man who had never tasted peaches. He would be quietly getting sadder, noticeably paler, and probably little by little, he would lose his hair."

+++

2.1.13

random dialogue from unwritten london drama

Once I went to see a film. It was on the South Bank. I went with a friend of mine and he invited these people who I didn't know. We all went together. After the film ended we all walked out and we were by the river. There was this boy. The boy was lost. Quite clearly. He was like a little bird. A fledgling out of the nest. He was timid and shy and he didn't talk so much as whimper. One of my friend's friends, a girl, started talking to him. She was good with him. She talked to him. Got his trust. She took him by the hand. It was impressive. You know, those women who have a way with kids. And this was more than that. Because he didn't just have a way with kids, she seemed to really connect. With this lost child. To bring him out of himself. Gradually she coaxed him into leading the way. Because - like a lost bird - the child knew the way. The way back. I was really impressed. The child had been on a boat trip. And she got him to lead us back to the boat. Two years later, the girl turned up again. And of course I remembered. And I was attracted to her. I thought she had a wonderful gift. But - do you know what? 

What?

It didn't work out. The truth was that she wasn't the person I thuoght she was. She was a bit like the boy. She was really lost. She was constantly looking for someone to lead her home. 

She'd identified with the boy. That was why she'd understood.

Yeah. The boy being lost had nothing to do with the boy. It was all about her.



16/06/12









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